Humor: How to Make Your Cat Do What You Want

By Tamara L. Waters

If you have a cat, you already know that making it do anything is next to impossible. Can it be done though? Let's find out. Here are a few tips on just that— try them if you dare!

Exert Your Authority

One of the first steps in making your cat do what you want it to do is to exert your authority. Make sure your cat knows you are the boss. You must make this clear from the very beginning and never allow your kitty to forget that you are in charge.

Remember, most cats don't go along with this step willingly. They will allow you to think you are in charge, but the reality is that you really aren't. Your cat will go along with this fantasy as the mood suits him or her in an effort to raise your self-esteem. Rest assured though, when kitty allows you think you're in charge, you will feel like the king of the world!

Train Your Kitty

After you’ve made it clear to your cat that you are head honcho, you will need to train them. Training involves teaching your cat and making sure your authority is not challenged and that your cat respects you.

You can train your cat using treats, affection and a stern voice. If you tell your kitty enough times to stay off of the kitchen counters or the table, eventually they will understand and obey in an effort to please you and win your approval.

As part of kitty training, you will need to make sure your cat understands what other parts of your home are off limits. If you do not want your cat on the furniture, train her to stay away. Use a cat bed to train her to only sleep in that particular spot. This will help cut down on excessive cat hair and other messes your cat can make.

In addition, you will need to make sure kitty knows and understands what toys he is allowed to play with. Choose proper toys for your cat, and only allow him to play with the designated kitty toys. He is sure to love any choices you make simply because you – his loving owner — picked them out.

Expect Obedience

You should expect obedience from your cat. Do not allow him to show you disdain or disobedience. Your cat will appreciate the structure of your behavioral expectations. Do not back down and even if your cat ignores you, know that he will eventually thank you for staying strong and continuing to challenge him.

Discipline Your Kitty

If your cat disobeys and is stubborn about training and doing what you want it to do, you can offer discipline through removing favorite playthings. Your cat will immediately see the error of his ways and work to get back on your good side to earn his toys back. Every cat strives to be in his owner's good graces and affections.

Finally...

Ignore all of the above advice – it is a work of fiction. Your cat will do whatever the heck he wants to do, and there isn’t a darn thing you can do about it. As a matter of fact, your cat will do what he wants and will continue to prove to you daily that you will accept this behavior. After all, you are really the one who has been trained. Get used to it!

Read more articles by Tamara L. Waters